Filed under Short Story …

The Death of Johnny Kage – Cont’d From Last Week

Part one is {HERE}

 

Finding my mom’s house is a difficult task. Even when sober it’s a maze of side streets. I expect to see a minotaur jump out at any
minute. I get to my mom’s house and I’m still feeling euphoric. “Hi guys, I’m not going to lie to you,” I say.“ I’m high on ecstasy right now.” Why lie? I’m a grown up now, responsible for my own
destruction. Just be honest. I’m pretty sure my mom is thinking I’m a dope fiend by now. Seeing as how 24 hours ago I was babbling like your average cokehead or well meaning crystal methhead, because
of the Xenadrine. She probably thought I was on a drug crazed bender of some kind. She was right. …

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Johnny Kage: Rebirth

Last Weeks Episode is {HERE} Or Start way back at the beginning {HERE}. You can always follow the links at the bottom of each page to get yourself all the way back here.

After a couple day drive back to Toronto in a rented Uhaul full of junk, a head full of Acid and a stomach full of my newfound drug of choice:  caffeine, I was ready to get back to work and train even harder than before.  I had recently discovered Starbucks Frappuccino drinks and was addicted to them. I would drink two at a time and have energy to drive for hours…..All sorts of crazy screenplays would run through my brain. I almost hit a moose but my superior reflexes saved my life, the life of the giant moose, and the life of a hitchhiker I had picked up, codenamed Bishop.

I had five weeks left to train …
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The Ghost of Johnny Kage: Purgatory

New to JohnnyKageDotCom? Click {HERE} To go back to the beginning: The Death of Johnny Kage. And then follow the links all the way back here to this weeks episode:

Johnny Kage: A Quick Visit to Purgatory

After my quick disposal of Andy Social, and the good fortune to watch Max Marin get KTFO’d (For both of these fights click HERE), I got a chance to takeover for another one of his fights a few weeks later.  This would be the second title fight I would get because of Max. Although this time he had a good reason. He was dropped pretty hard on his head and had suffered way more damage than any of his fake car accidents. I figured I would stay in Alberta, take this fight, and then go back home to train 6 weeks for the real important fight against Jake Hatton.

Every couple of years I would call this girl Christa …
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Johnny Kage: RESURRECTION

Johnny Kage is Back from the Dead. If you are wondering where I went; I was in Tibet, snatching pebbles from the hands of Thai Lady Boys, running up mountains, knocking down trees with my shins, picking up burning cauldrons with my bare forearms… Or maybe I was just in Toronto getting my sick Tattoos finally completed.

The point is I am back, and back with a vengeance. Like the phoenix that rises from it’s ashes, like RDKRS every time we kill him, like a cockroach that you think you crushed with a shoe… I am back to wreck shit and blog about nonsense for your entertainment. While we are talking about Resurrections, let’s go to this week’s installment of Tuesday’s with Johnny (Fuck Morrie).

RESURRECTION

In my world, my titles make sense. I died in Death of Johnny Kage, and then once you are dead of course you are …
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The Ghost of Johnny Kage 3: The Long Windy Road to Redemption.

If you are new to JohnnyKageDotCom than let me tell you about Tuesdays. Tuesdays are a special time, when Uncle Johnny tells stories from long ago. Tonight’s story is called The Ghost of Kage, Here are the links for {PART 1} and {PART 2}. They make more sense if you start with the series that started it all: The Death of Johnny Kage. Either way, follow all the links until you get back here. If you are a JKDC vet, then you already know what time it is, so enjoy this weeks episode:

I flew back to Toronto just in time to go back into lockdown for the final 2 weeks, to earn my money and to try not to have any regrets. It could have been worse. I could have dropped out of the study to train hard for the fight, missed out on $4100, Gone to Edmonton, had Max back out again like …
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The Ghost of Johnny Kage Part Deux

Lost? Or new to JohnnyKageDotCom? Go to Ghost of Kage 1. Or go back to the very beginning: The Death of Johnny Kage. 

If you just want a little frame of reference, than start with The Death of Johnny Kage Part 10: THE END. That way you can skip all the debauchery and mushy stuff and just begin with some good ole MMA. Either way you can follow all the links and get yourself back to here:

In the changeroom I felt pretty fucked up from the head trauma and oxygen deprivation, so I reached in my bag and pulled out my mushrooms. I thought to myself ”I should eat these so I can keep this buzz going.” And “I should have eaten these before the fight.” I couldn’t have done any worse.

I never felt right about the whole fight. I felt like a corporate sponsored bitch, and I had lost …
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The Ghost of Johnny Kage

The Ghost of Johnny Kage will make more sense if you’ve already read The Death of Johnny Kage. 

After the Summer of Love (or Chemical Infatuation), I was really trying to be a serious professional athlete, but fights kept falling through. My day job was barely paying the bills and I wanted a bit of money so I climbed out of my deep depression and committed myself to doing a huge drug study at Biovail.  I was to be a lab rat again, this time testing out the blood withdrawal rate of the anti-depressant Wellbutrin (Zyban). The study was two weeks fully locked down, then a two week break in the middle, and then back in for two weeks, for a grand total of $4100.

Around this time I was talking to the promoter/owner of the Maximum Fighting Championship (MFC). They were putting on their second show and they wanted me to be the main event, because …
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The Death of Johnny Kage: Addendum

It’s been exactly eight years since I wrote that unintelligible gibberish and what has happened since then? Well after that summer a couple pissed off Muslims flew a couple of planes into a couple of buildings in NYC. My beloved sport went from being an underground semi-legal extreme sport, to a full fledged superstar producing, money making machine. There used to be fights every three months or so, now there are fights every weekend.

The acronym NHB (No Holds Barred) was replaced with a more accurate one, MMA (Mixed Martial Arts). Dana “I HateGrappling” White created The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) Reality Series and we’ve been introduced to a whole generation of TapOut wearing TUF NOOBS (Short for The Ultimate Fighter Newbies, Reality show watching wannabee thugs who are super into the sport now, but never even heard of it before the first season of The Ultimate Fighter).
. (Don’t click unless it’s already next Tuesday). …
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R.I.P. Johnny Kage… KICKBOXING H.L. REEL

Celebrities are dropping like flies this week, just read RDKRS’ SPECIAL REPORT… Right below this post. Before Johnny Kage died, he was the World’s Greatest Action Hero, before that he was a Canadian MMA Champ, and before that he was a Superstar KickBoxer. Celebrate his life by watching this short clip: This was an old video that he … Continue reading »