Filed under Death of Johnny Kage …

The Death of Johnny Kage – Cont’d From Last Week

Part one is {HERE}

Finding my mom’s house is a difficult task. Even when sober it’s a maze of side streets. I expect to see a minotaur jump out at any
minute. I get to my mom’s house and I’m still feeling euphoric. “Hi guys, I’m not going to lie to you,” I say.“ I’m high on ecstasy right now.” Why lie? I’m a grown up now, responsible for my own
destruction. Just be honest. I’m pretty sure my mom is thinking I’m a dope fiend by now. Seeing as how 24 hours ago I was babbling like your average cokehead or well meaning crystal methhead, because
of the Xenadrine. She probably thought I was on a drug crazed bender of some kind. She was right. …

The REAL Death of Johnny Kage

Several months ago readers of JKDC were treated to a mess of a story: The series of emails titled The
Death of Johnny Kage, I stated before that the title didn’t make sense. Well here is the story that title was stolen from. It was actually written a year before and was never meant to see the
light of day.

Oh well, get it out in the open now, that way nothing to dig up if I ever go into politics:

The REAL Death of Johnny Kage

Our story begins with the death of Her Yon Jaw, the legendary Chinese hero famous for his victories over Russia’s champion wrestlers
and Japan’s Bushido experts. He was poisoned. …

The Death of Johnny Kage 10: THE END

Click HERE for Parts 1 through 9.

What an incredible weekend…. The whole weekend had a Fight Club feel to it. I wasn’t saying that because we were a bunch of overly testosteroned disenfranchised males lacking of father figures and warring against consumerism… No that wasn’t my point. It was more of a “we did too much drugs and we were really reaching here” kind of thing. It all started when I showed up at the event and it was huge and very open, playing house and trance music. It felt like a rave, lazer shows going on everywhere. Only thing missing were the candy kids and E-tards. Well I knew two occasional E-tards were there… But they were about to fight.

The first fight up, someone’s entrance music was “the eight rules of fight club.” this imprinted on my brain and later when I was to go overboard on …
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The Death of Johnny Kage … part NINE

I remember when I was a kid. I would get so pissed off when my favorite tv show would be pre-empted by some crappy Charlie Brown Christmas special. Well I did that to you last week and I got some hatemail for doing so. This week I will continue the saga. Click MORE to read tonight’s, or click HERE if you need to start with 1 through 8.

>From: johnnykage
>To: Everyone……………..
>Subject: Part nine: Heading towards Certain Death
>Date: Mon, 30 Jul 2001 15:49:29 -0400
>

I never get a call back, so I assume they don’t need me to fight. I spend the week with my kids and have a great time. Then the next tuesday, three days before the fight, I get a phonecall; “Listen Kage, you’re coming out anyway, Max Marin backed out, can you fight his opponent?” Why the hell not. I got nothing to lose. I figured hell, I needed the money. Worst …
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The Death of Johnny Kage part 9

…Will not be seen tonight. In its place will be a special presentation of Charlie Brown’s Christmas. http://d.yimg.com/static.video.yahoo.com/yep/YV_YEP.swf?ver=2.2.40 Merry Christmas Everybody. The Death of Johnny Kage will return next Tuesday. Click HERE but not until Next Tuesday, you all know what will happen if you don’t wait.

Death of Kage VIII

Click here to begin the journey: Parts 1 through 7.

>
>From:____________
>To:______________
>Subject: 8: The Anti Climactic Week in Montreal (Calm before the Storm)
>Date: Wed, 25 Jul 2001 18:54:46 -400
>

Montreal, the debauchery capital of Canada started out promising….Four of us NHB fighters locked down in the same hotel for a week. Monkey was supposed to defend his U.C.C. title against Yves Jabouin a really tough kickboxer. And Barry (Mack Daddy FleXXX) and another friend Antonio (Pato) came as well. Pato (porteguese for duck. What is with all my friends and the fascination with being named after animals?) is a whole other set of issues, all I’m going to mention at this point is that he’s trying to be a cop… nuff said. So staying with two dopefiends and a seasoned Scarboroughnian Thug were going to be the ultimate test of comraderie. The week was okay it was kind of a nice …
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The Death of Johnny Kage VII

With Part Seven We finally get rid of the mushy stuff…….. If this is your first glimpse into the mind of Kage than remember to Start at {PART 1}, {PART 2}, {PART 3}, {PART 4}, {PART 5} or {PART 6}. If you’re a veteran at JohnnyKageDotCom than click ”MORE” and take in the 3rd grade grammar skills of The Worlds Greatest Action Hero:

>From:___________________
>To: ……………….@telusplanet.net
>Subject: SE7EN (Screw you Fincher, I stole your title like i stole your bike…Sue me, i have nothing)
>Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 09:56:05 -0400
>

Part Seven the Antithesis of Six

Bear with me here, this is the last you’ll hear of this girl (because I found a big field and I had a trunk full of Lye)after this final rant, I will get back to some serious abuse of drugs….and a little professional no holds barred fighting.

I take the week off work to hang …
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Death of Johnny Kage part VI

This week the title has switched to roman numerals, not because it is epic, but because Bruce Willis hasn’t made a Die Hard movie in time for me to rip off a title. You may also notice that it is up way earlier in the day than what you are used to. That is because I have traveled 3 HOURS INTO THE FUTURE. (I’m not even tired of that yet)

There is only four more badly spelled stories of wanton debauchery after this one. If you haven’t been reading, don’t start with this one. Start at {PART 1} or {PART 2} or {PART 3} or {PART 4) or even {PART 5}

>From:
>To: johnnykage@hotmail.com
>Subject: six,six,six
>Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2001 11:21:23 -0400
>

Part six The Death of JohnnyKage
2009 POST SCRIPT: Looking back, I really saw all the mushy stuff and I’m glad to say that it was getting out of the …
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Death of Johnny Kage 5: Live Free Or Death Hard!!!

Its Part 5 and its Cinco De Mayo on the same day. Was it planned this way in my subconscious or pure coincidence? Is it Divine Prophecy? Are we all controlled by the great Magnet? Is everyone at this website nuts (except for me)??? Does anyone care? Probably No to all the above. But here is the continuation of the story:

Click here for {PART 1} {PART 2} {PART 3} OR {PART 4}

>From: “Johnny Kage”
>To: johnnykage@hotmail.com
>Subject: Part 5: (warning XXX)
>Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2001 11:20:33 -0400
>

So everyone has gone home, I have the place to myself, finally rest relaxation, solitude. I go to work feeling at one with the universe and that everything in my life is perfect. I had come to the conclusion a few months ago that my life was near perfect anyway….the only thing missing was money and superstardom, everything else …
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Death of Johnny Kage 4: Death Hard With A Vengeance!!!

The statute of limitations regarding debauchery has ran out on some of these heinous actions. The rest of the story will remain mostly unedited with the original crappy spelling, but I have changed the names of the guilty back to their real names. Eight years ago they didn’t want anyone to know who they were… Now, I don’t care….

Click here for: PART 1. PART 2. PART 3
>To: johnnykage@hotmail.com
>Subject: Part 4….the story shifts gears…blechk…. all the mushy stuff
>Date: Mon, 09 Jul 2001 16:01:04 -0400
>

So any way this girl and I are sharing way to many coincidences. We fit like a puzzle (and that is not a sexual metaphor, although the sex is gooooood). We are a perfect co-dependent match, she already has me holding all her money and she is already calling it “our” money. I store the money in an envelope in …
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